I started writing this song in late 2016 and I finished it mid-2017.
It's been almost three years since this song has been in the works - from playing very basic chords and writing the lyrics in my bedroom, to leading the song in NextGen and for main celebration services, to recording it with the very talented Resonate musicians and to today, having it produced and published on YouTube and on Spotify.
It's been surreal to say the least.
And you'd think that something from three years ago wouldn't really make any sense for me today, but I'm here to say that even after three years now, it still gets me in tears remembering what God had revealed to me in that season of my life.
 |
| Rehearsing for the recording. |
I'm the kind of person who is not a big fan of when things don't go the way I planned them to, especially when I don't even know where things are going in the first place. This can be from the littlest of things like not knowing how to start on my assignments to the bigger things like deciding on what to do after graduating.
Not being in control of my life often leaves me feeling anxious, helpless and broken.
But the truth is, this life that I have was never mine to begin with.
"I have been crucified with Christ. And I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” — Galatians 2:20 (NIV)
Christ died for me. God purchased me through the death of his Son so that I belong to him. And Christ now lives in me. Living in the reality of this purchase is acknowledging my belonging to God and surrendering to his Lordship over my life.
I've read something someone wrote somewhere (great citation skills) that said, "To be God's is to no longer be gods."
This means that I am not my own master. This means renouncing my thoughts, my plans, my ways, my desires, my wants and the nagging need to have control over my circumstances, and to instead look for all of that and more in Christ.
 |
| Recording at Calvary Studio. |
The act of surrendering is often associated with fairly negative connotations. We think of surrender in terms of giving up, losing control to someone or something else, accepting and admitting defeat.
But to me, surrendering to God is never a picture of defeat but rather one of victory.
When I give my life to God, I'm giving my life to One who is infinite, all-powerful, all-knowing, all-present, sovereign, loving, faithful, true, just, holy, righteous, gracious — everything I am not and some things I cannot be without Christ.
There have been times when my heart and my mind have been at their worst, times when my pride, selfishness, greed, foolishness and everything in between come to surface. It's not a pretty sight.
So, who am I to think that my finite, human mind knows better than the One who created me, the One who knows me far better than I know myself, the One who calls me by my name (Isaiah 43:1)? Who am I to think that surrendering to God means living a life of defeat when it is in fact living a life of victory in Christ?
Throughout these years, I cannot tell you how many times I have been clouded with confusion, lost at a sea of my own thoughts. Up until today, I still get anxious over the little things and cry out of frustration when I feel like everything around me is falling apart, including myself.
But time and time again, God has brought me back to that place where he met me, where he revealed these truths about who He is and who I am in Him.
I'm glad that my life is not in my own hands. I'm thrilled to know that because of the finished work on the cross, I now belong to Christ and not to my fleshly passions and desires (Galatians 5:24). I'm thankful that when things are in over my head, they are still under His feet. And that at the end of the day, all of this points back to glorify Him and Him alone.
Not being in control of my life leaves me feeling anxious, helpless and broken; but knowing that God is, gives me rest, hope and makes me complete in Him.
I may not be the best songwriter or be at the peak of my vocal abilities during this recording (trust me, I'm my biggest critic), but this song is one of, if not the most heartfelt prayer to God that I have had and will always have through many seasons of my life.
And I pray that this song serves to encourage you the way it has encouraged me in times of need.
SURRENDER
Verse:
When it is
In over my head
Lord, it's under Your feet
It's under Your feet
As it is
You live in me
Lord, You have my heart
You have my heart
Chorus:
I surrender
To a Love that's overcome
To a Love that's always won
I surrender
To the perfect sacrifice
I give You my whole life
I am Yours
I am Yours
Bridge:
I will run to the One
Who calls me His own
I will sing unto the King
Who reigns on His throne
I will not fear cause You are here
I'm never alone
In You I rest
In You I hope
In You I'm whole
I am Yours
I am Yours
I am Yours
Special thanks to Pr Terry Yeow, the Resonate team (Back-up Vocals: Joyce, Keys: Melvin Goh and Darren Ong, Drums: Nicholas Leong, Bass: Nick Lim, Guitars: Marcus Leong) and Marcus for the music arrangement.
To God be the glory.
