One of our friends tested positive after feeling unwell the day after the six of us met at my house on Saturday (24 April).
All of us went for our RT-PCR tests. Two were tested positive on their first tests, another two were positive on their second. I was the last one standing, or so I thought.
Why I Went for a Third Test
It was Day 11 since contact, a day after my second negative test. I was spending a normal Wednesday night (5 May) playing PUBG with the boys, an almost everyday activity during quarantine.
During and after the game, my nose was getting more and more congested; my throat started to feel irritated. My headache was increasingly unbearable and my body started to ache everywhere, especially at my joints. My eyes hurt and felt really heavy when I rolled them around — my telltale sign that I was developing a fever.
I took my temperature before I went to bed.
37.1°C.
Maybe I'm just tired, I thought, since it was almost midnight and I had a rather long day at work (from home).
Maybe I'm just tired, I thought, since it was almost midnight and I had a rather long day at work (from home).
Fast forward a couple of hours later, I woke up at 4.38am feeling incredibly warm under my blanket. My chest felt tight and heavy. It was getting hard to breathe.
This is it. This has to be it.
My legs almost gave way as they struggled to carry the weight of my body just ten steps to the bathroom where my thermometer was.
Beep, beep, beep.
38.3°C.
I took a photo of the thermometer and sent it to Marcus and Lu, my sister, respectively. I called Lu and started crying almost immediately once she picked up. Breathless, I began to describe to her the discomfort I was experiencing.
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| 4.38am. |
But it cannot be COVID, right? I just tested negative for the second time.
For peace of mind, well, more so to confirm my suspicions, we decided for me to get tested at BP Healthcare first thing when they open, and to sleep it off while we waited for the results in the mean time. If the results turn out negative and if whatever I was experiencing was not COVID related, then at least we could rule it out and get me warded for something else if necessary.
So for the third time in two weeks, I went to the same place, stood in the same line, almost at the same time, and did the same test.
But this time I was alone.
As weak as I was, I didn’t want to risk letting my parents have any contact with me by sending me to the lab.
Half the time in line I was wiggling my toes and bouncing on the balls of my feet as I was afraid of passing out. I managed to fight through the dizziness, got the swab, and felt the stick poke my brain through my nose for the third time.
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| Third time's the charm, I guess. |
Once home, I showered and tucked myself back into the safety of my blanket. Taking another 2 more Panadols, I spent the rest of my Thursday (6 May) in bed.
I was extremely exhausted, so much so that I couldn’t even stay awake to wait for my test results.
The RT-PCR test results from BP are usually ready within 24 hours, but we noticed that those who test positive will receive an SMS a few hours before the emails are sent out to those who test negative.
Leaving my details to Marcus to check the BP app for me, I went to bed and woke up later at 4.49am (interestingly, almost the same time as the night before).
1.05am — I had a miss call from Marcus, followed by his messages about my COVID-19 results which came back positive.
He updated my family, the group with the six of us, and everyone else in the know of our situation. So in some sense, everyone knew that I was tested positive even before I did.
Though truth be told, in that moment when the fever from the night before woke me up, I knew that COVID got the last of us (in the group).
The next few days saw me sleeping throughout the day, waking up only to eat small meals, drinking everything under the sun for my immune system (e.g. vitamin C, honey lemon, 'life-saving' traditional Chinese medicine), and updating my COVID diary by keeping track of my temperature, heart rate, and oxygen levels.
By Monday (10 May), I was feeling almost 100%! I didn’t need to take paracetamol anymore, there was no more fever, my nose was fully clear, my cough was gone, I had a lot more energy than before.
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| "Dear Diary, today I felt like I was this close to dying." |
While I was recovering, the other thing on my mind was getting called to the COVID Assessment Centre (CAC) at Stadium Malawati, Shah Alam.
The CAC is where all positive cases in the Petaling district go through a health assessment to either be sent to the quarantine centres or to undergo home quarantine. Pejabat Kesihatan Daerah (PKD) Petaling sends a text, which includes details for a scheduled appointment and instructions to bring along personal belongings such as clothes, toiletries, etc, should you be sent to the quarantine centres.
The other five managed to come back from the CAC with their pink and red bands and stayed at home for the rest of their quarantine, but it was Day 6 of being tested positive for me and I hadn’t gotten any text yet.
On Wednesday afternoon (12 May), I received a call from PKD Petaling.
After asking some questions about my condition, when and why I got tested, the officer I spoke to on the phone allowed me to complete my quarantine at home for the last few days, after which I was asked to head to the CAC the following Monday (17 May) for my release order (RO) to confirm that I’ve completed my home quarantine.
The next day, Thursday afternoon (13 May), I received the text — the standard SMS mentioned before this — to head to the CAC on Saturday (15 May) for a health assessment and to bring along my personal belongings.
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| The confirmation message after the call about getting my RO. |
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| The standard SMS that I received the next day. |
I called all the numbers on their website in hopes to clarify this confusion but to no avail.
So I reached out to the office through three different channels/numbers, (1) their Telegram channel, (2) the WhatsApp hotline for positive cases, (3) the WhatsApp hotline for close contacts.
One of them told me to still head to the CAC on Saturday for the health assessment, while the other two told me to ignore the SMS about the Saturday appointment and to head there on Monday instead.
One less thing to worry about; better yet, one less trip to make to the CAC.
Getting the Release Order at the CAC
On a rainy Monday morning (17 May), I reached Stadium Malawati at about 7.45am. I actually planned to reach even earlier, but I got a bit lost while looking for the open air car park as all of the entrances were closed off, except for one right at the end.
The CAC only opened at 9am, but the lines were so long that I considered myself late.
I joined the queue with my small umbrella in hand, thankful that I decided to stick with my initial plan to wear slippers. There were others also with their umbrellas; some had raincoats, some just braving the rain; while majority of the people in line were under the tents that have been set up right outside the entrance to the stadium.
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| 8.12am. Lining up to head into the stadium. |
There were two lines, of which I found out what they were designated for only upon reaching the entrance of the stadium.
A few pieces of A4 papers were pasted on the waist-high, orange, plastic barricades: the left lane for those who have checked in on the Selangkah app, the middle lane for those with the orange form to collect their release order, and a special priority lane on the right for the elderly, pregnant women, and those with children below two.
I don’t think anyone really followed those lines, partly because the A4 papers right at the entrance were the only clear(ish) directive of which line you should queue up for, but mostly because two or three frontliners were walking up and down the line, calling out for those who belong in the priority lane and those who were there to cut their bands and collect their release orders.
It was 9.24am when I set foot into the stadium.
It was 1.18pm when I got my release order.
The four hours in the stadium had me at two different stations, though technically speaking it should have been three.
The first was the registration counter, where they asked for my IC and gave me a form to fill up for my release order. The second station was where they measured your temperature, blood pressure, oxygen level and pulse rate. The third and final station was where they issued the release orders.
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| 9.24am. The registration counters. |
I was done at the registration counter at 10.30am. They then told me to line up for Counter G. After about ten minutes in line, PPE-cladded individuals started to go down the line with a pulse oximeter.
I think maybe they realised that the people in line to Counter G bypassed the health assessment station. By then, the line had already snaked its way next to the section partitioned for the registration counter.
They then setup a dedicated station for those in line to Counter G as a midway checkpoint for us to measure our temperature and other readings.
So at 11.02am, I got tested and was given my readings on a piece of paper for the doctor to check later on. Then I continued on in my queue and finally reached Counter G at 1.10pm.
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| 11.02am. |
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| 11.11am. The red circle is where Counter G is at. |
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| 1.08pm. Yay, my turn next! |
In the little over five hours at the CAC, I spent most of my time people-watching (1.5 hours of which I listened in to my Zoom meeting) and overheard many conversations.
There was a woman two seats away from me in the line for the registration counter whose 78-year-old father has been on the oxygen tank for the last few days. A young family where the baby was the one who was tested positive, along with her two older siblings - both the boys younger than six. A son, concerned for his mother who seemed tired and weak, whether from all the waiting or from the virus, I didn’t ask.
There was a woman two seats away from me in the line for the registration counter whose 78-year-old father has been on the oxygen tank for the last few days. A young family where the baby was the one who was tested positive, along with her two older siblings - both the boys younger than six. A son, concerned for his mother who seemed tired and weak, whether from all the waiting or from the virus, I didn’t ask.
The young man next to me at Counter G was asked the reason as to why he went to get tested. He explained that he developed a fever out of nowhere and was unable to pinpoint or retrace where he could have contracted the virus. He was never in contact with anyone positive, at least to his knowledge.
The guilt in his voice was apparent.
The doctor gave him a sad, but comforting smile.
“Ya, sekarang you keluar saja pun boleh dapat (translation: you can contract the virus just by being outside),” she said.
Maybe it was to redirect the blame to the dire situation we are in, instead of plainly faulting him for going out.
After receiving my RO, I got home and took the deepest, cleanest, most thorough shower I've ever taken in a long time. I then spent the rest of the afternoon disinfecting my bedroom, my bathroom, and my sister's room that I've been using as my "office".
Thus, ends my journey with COVID-19, for now (because I can still get reinfected with other strains of the virus), and hopefully forever (because I'm just tired of living through a pandemic).
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| My release order. |
Making Sense of What Has Happened
Here's a quick recap of the timeline:
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For some of us, the symptoms appeared before our positive test and for some, they appeared after. It took one test for some, two for others, and three for me. We all experienced and are still experiencing varying degrees of the (long term) symptoms; some of our journeys to recovery were a bit more difficult than others.
When my friends tested positive one after another, I was convinced that there was no way I could have been the only one who was negative. It was like FOMO but not really.
I had constant headaches, body aches, and tiredness even days before my second test. But I also had my period that week, and the negative result led us to assume that it may very well have been PMS related. My throat was also dry and I had been coughing, too. But hey, two negative tests, right? Maybe it was just aggravated from getting swabbed twice in two weeks.
Well, surprise, surprise.
Even after two negative tests, it turns out you can still test positive on the 12th day of quarantine.
Thankfully all of our families tested negative and are safe from the virus. We're glad that we took our room quarantine seriously because by doing so, we stopped the virus from being transmitted to the rest of our family members and whoever we/they might have met after that.
Imagine if the rest of us who tested negative the first time (and as for me, the second time) didn’t quarantine properly after the initial test. It's scary to think about the chain reaction of what could have happened if we were just a little more careless.
Testing positive for COVID takes a toll on you; obviously in the physical sense, but the mental and emotional impact that come with are often overlooked. Testing positive nearing the end of my quarantine made it even more frustrating for me, though I know that my situation didn't not make sense.
Studies have shown that the incubation period for the coronavirus is anywhere between 2 to14 days.
Testing positive on the 12th day of my quarantine was not unusual, but it meant an additional 10 days of self-isolation from the day of the third test. So what was supposed to be just 14 days of quarantine after two negative tests, totalled up to be 21 days of isolation for me.
Not gonna lie, it wasn't the easiest three weeks.
In those 21 days, many of my thoughts and feelings were of anger, confusion and disappointment, yet there were also those of joy, peace and gratefulness.
Having my body almost completely shut down for the first few days was terrible, but I am glad that I never needed to be hospitalised and that I was able to recover from the virus in the comforts of my own room.
I was alone, but never lonely.
My parents took care of me as best as they could from the other side of the door, my sister followed-up with me regularly from across the Malaysia-Singapore border; the group of us got together on Discord every now and then to keep each other company with online games, Netflix parties, and just talking with one another.
The group of us have also been a hot topic in a lot of different conversations.
Although many have sent us encouraging messages and kept us in their prayers, there were a number of snarky comments that made their rounds.
Our friend, much like the young man next to me at Counter G, only knew he contracted the virus because his symptoms showed up the day after we hung out at my house. He was never a close contact, and was not displaying symptoms before that, so clearly it was never his intention to be irresponsible.
Just as the doctor said, merely stepping out of the house puts you at risk of contracting the virus; though ironically, I was in my house when I was exposed to the virus. While many are arguably selfish with their actions and behaviours, there are a few of the daily numbers that are, for lack of better word, casualties.
Point is: we always think it won't happen to us until it really does.
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| Newspapers that were left outside while I was leaving the CAC. |
Final Thoughts
It's been a little over two weeks since I tested positive, and almost two weeks since I've last displayed any symptoms.
I have yet experienced any loss of taste or smell, but I have been feeling very tired still, with hints of nausea after meals. My throat is dry at times and my voice cracks occasionally when I speak too much (which might just be God telling me to keep quiet).
But other than that, I'm doing alright.
I believe we have the right to criticise a system that is greatly mismanaged and evidently brittle — that I get asked to stay at home one day, and in the next, to head to the CAC with personal belongings in tow; that different channels of the same office contradict each other about said miscommunication; that announcements are made to announce that announcements will be made, and the list goes on.
The frontliners are not to be blamed for the five hours I spent at the CAC.
The sheer amount of people they had to tend to is just proof that our healthcare services are overwhelmed and at the edge of exhaustion.
To continuously see and comfort patients on the brink of death for over a year now, to be the last person by their side as loved ones bid their final goodbyes through phone calls, all while putting their own lives at risk and being away from their own families..
It's far beyond what the rest of us may ever come close to experiencing.
For the lack of just and proper legislative, executive, and judicial measures in handling a public health crisis (and also the handling of everything else in general), we should — no, we must hold those in power accountable.
But I think it's also important that we do our part.
There have been so many stories of people going out for lunch and meeting up with their friends after going for a swab test, only to find out much later that they were tested positive for COVID.
I've tapped through more than enough Instastories of individuals constantly sharing the daily statistics, asking their followers to stay at home, followed by a snap of them at the Ramadan bazaar or at their favourite cafés.
I scrolled past a tweet about how no amount of individual action is worse than bad governance.
While I agree that we cannot fix it on our own, and that we are in desperate need of leaders who serve the people and not their personal agendas, I also believe that we have choices to make.
Wearing our masks, registering for the vaccines, visiting our family and friends, panic buying at the grocer's, implementing work from home orders as employers, testing negative on the first swab test then returning to work/daily activities without self-quarantine..
We are free to choose, but we are not free from the consequences of our choices.
It's been over a year now and there are so many things that this pandemic has brought to light — the widening economic gap within the rakyat and the double standards between who's who and who's not, just to name a few — yet whatever (insert alphabet here)MCO we have been in, it amazes me to see initiatives after initiatives being birthed out of the compassion that people have for communities most affected by the pandemic.
If you're reading this and you want and have the privilege to do more than just stay at home, Kita Jaga Kita is a great place to start! Though some of the initiatives are no longer active, there are still many others to choose from.
Cue shameless plug time: my office is running our annual REDDAY initiative with Medical Awareness Camp Outreach (MACO) Malaysia to donate computers to individuals, student groups, and the underprivileged. If you have used laptops/desktops that still work, or if you want to donate funds to help with food aid or to refurbish the computers, click here to find out more!
Cue shameless plug time: my office is running our annual REDDAY initiative with Medical Awareness Camp Outreach (MACO) Malaysia to donate computers to individuals, student groups, and the underprivileged. If you have used laptops/desktops that still work, or if you want to donate funds to help with food aid or to refurbish the computers, click here to find out more!
As the truest colours of human nature (read: selfishness, recklessness, and wilful ignorance) continue to reveal themselves in the form of those shamelessly abusing their power, may the choices we make outdo one another in loving, honouring, and protecting others.
Let's do better.
