I realized I've been writing a lot about all the very happening things that's been going on, so here's a little something closer to heart instead.
As most of you know, Marcus is busy serving the country right now and will only be back on 14th of February. Yes, exactly on Valentine's day. Anyway, you know how some nights it just gets a little too emotional especially when it involves slow songs and feelings? Tip: Never listen to slow, sad songs and look at old photos and reminisce about the good times. Just don't.
Some people cry it out (me), some people talk to their friends about it (sometimes me), some people take it to Twitter to write deep, one-phrased tweets in another language (me), some people post a photo on Instagram with a deep, one-phrased caption in another language (me) (I bet you do that to just seem cool, too okay), some people sleep it off (me) but for me, I write it out. And since I don't have a laptop that I can just whip out anytime and using the desktop would require me getting out of bed, I just use the "Notes" app on my phone and type, type, type and type.
Fri, 6th Feb 2015
12.45am, I played One Direction (yes One Direction) on shuffle on Spotify and all was well until Little Things came up. I remembered you saying last week that you liked this song. When the song came up, the tears started falling and call me crazy, I was smiling so very hard at the same time. Seriously, how many people do you know cry and smile when they hear a song that hits them right in the core? Okay, not that drama but you get it. But why did I cry?
It's definitely not because I was sad or anything because well, I was smiling. I think what happened was that as the song played, I was imagining you playing and singing that song. The way that you would play random notes, going up and down the frets to decide whether or not the key was alright, the way that you would fumble a bit with the lyrics because knowing you, you probably haven't listened to it enough times to remember the song word for word, the way you would keep your eyes on your fingers for the entire time you're singing, the way I would harmonize with you and tell you the missing words to your lyrics, the way I will laugh at how adorable you look - all of this was playing in my head when the song came on and it just made me cry.
I think because for one, the realization that I am only 8 days away from hearing your voice and seeing you face to face just overwhelmed me. It's been 42 days since the last time I saw you and yes I know, I know, to some people it may not seem like it's been very long and whatever but I couldn't care less what they have to say. To be honest, a week is sometimes a bit hard to get through without seeing you or having available means of communication from day to day via Whatsapp or Skype or even just regular phone calls, let alone 6 weeks. So finally being able to have you 15 minutes instead of 2 hours and 24 minutes away, 4.6km instead of 172km away makes me really super incredibly excited. Really super incredibly excited indeed.
And second, I am reminded once again how amazingly blessed you are with your talents and how you still stay so humble and down-to-earth. Moments from the (very minimal) practices and preparation we had for our performance during prom came to mind. Having you on stage with me definitely made the whole experience less nerve wrecking and a lot more enjoyable. I remember how crazy embarrassed and silly I felt when I kept messing up the lyrics at the end of the chorus but all I needed to do was look at you smiling back at me and it instantly just calmed me down and helped get rid of the unnecessary nerves I put on myself. I know I've said this before during our little introduction for our performance but I'll say it again, I'm extremely proud and honored to have you as my guitarman for that night and hopefully for many more days to come.
And lastly, it's because you are you. Like I always say, you are my constant reminder of God's grace and mercy upon my life. So thank you for being one of the very few people who have made me feel so much joy and happiness that I cried real tears.
It's 1.38am and One Direction is still playing. I really would rather have you singing instead but Spotify and my imagination skills will have to do for now. I love you so much. I miss you even more. Can't wait till you finally come home again, but this time for good.
With lots and lots of love and hugs and kisses.
Congratulations, you have stepped into Marcus' shoes and got a taste of what it feels like to have me gush over every single thing you do.
