To say that there's only 3 weeks left to trials and only 3 more months left to SPM, to think that the number of days left to the major exam is only double-digits now, I'm not going to lie but I'm scared from my head to the end of my tippy toes but really excited on the other hand to finally get this over and done with.
I know, I know, it's the only thing everyone's been saying, about how much time there's left for exams. You're probably so tired of hearing the same thing again and again but it is a fact that you simply cannot ignore no matter how hard you try.
Personally, a lot of times I just constantly think of how I'm so drained from trying to study every single day to catch up from what I've missed last year and at the same time stay on track with this year's syllabus. And more often than not I just think of giving up because I already know what I want to do after SPM and it's not really of concern what my results turn out to be. BUT (a reaaally big but here) (butt hehe), with a lot a lot a lot of perseverance and strength and motivation, this is me, a 17-year-old noob whose academic has never been one of her strong points even after all these years of being in such a competitive learning environment, this noob who has failed time and time again, ME, the biggest noob of all time, this is me still trying and trying and giving my best to do what I can. I guess all I really ever needed was the right kinda push and the motivation to go on.
And that's why I'm back here, to tell you that if you have ever felt like giving up and giving it all away, don't. You're not alone and I'm always here to help hehe and I don't think people really understand when I say I'm here for you because I reaaaally am. If anything I'm just a phone call/text/whatsapp/tweet/facebook message away. That's all you need and I'll be there. Fo'sho. But if not then here's a little something for you to think about if you ever do feel like giving up. ☺
(fair warning: this is going to be extra wordy because I feel the need to put this out there so be prepared)
(fair warning: this is going to be extra wordy because I feel the need to put this out there so be prepared)
- "What next?"
It's a fact that SPM is a part and parcel of a Malaysian student's life. As long as you're here, no matter how hard we try, we are never going to be able to run away from it. And as most experienced people in the working place will say, SPM will be nothing compared to the outside world. So if you can't even deal with this, how are you going to deal with what's going to come next?
Think about it, with above average results, it would be a passport for you to get to any college or university you want. It would be much easier for you to apply for anything because you have the results to get you there. I'm not saying that you need excellent results for all the courses the world has to offer, but I'm pretty sure that it would be easier for you to do what you want to. Having said that, despite knowing what you want to do after SPM (like me) and knowing that it doesn't need very high requirements (like me as well hehe), I personally think it's still best if we all try to do what we can and get the best results because hey, you'll never know if one day soon you will change your mind again and regret not getting better results if you ever want to do something different.
Again, I'm not saying that every single degree out there requires this and that kind of results but think of it this way, you have more options and you won't have to worry about not meeting any standards because your results are above average. It would save a lot of heartache and brain damage for you because you can do whatever you want. You won't have to end up doing something you don't have the passion for because of a silly mistake, not wanting to work harder just for the time being and this ends up wasting all your time and effort spent.
- It's only for these few months.
Now, stop and think for a moment. 3 months, 14 weeks, 98 days. To be completely honest, I personally have been messing around for the past year and a half and I'm preeeetty sure most of you have been doing the same. These will be the last 3 months, the final push to such an important exam. Why would you still want to be wasting your time, messing around when you have been doing the same thing since the start of last year? You only have to hold on for so much longer, to give your best in these few months and then after that you are absolutely free. You can mess around all you want after that! Think about it. Are you really sure you want to waste the last few months because you 'don't feel like it' or there's 'no point' to at least try, only to come to your senses and regret afterwards? Only to realise that you could have done so much better if you just spent your time a little better?
3 more months. 3 more months.
It's not that much of time left. Start now or you never will. Start now or you will regret not starting even earlier. And hello, just be lifeless bookworms for the next few months, wait for a month of exams and then we can all continue doing the stupid things that we normally do to waste our time! All the shopping, the dates, the road trips, the yumcha, the outings and all that can wait. I cannot stress enough how important this is, because I personally felt like ew, what's the point of all this if I know I won't do well, what's the point if I try but I don't even have the heart to do it for real? But then I've come to realise that having this negative mindset won't get me anywhere, and it certainly won't get my studying anywhere either (only if it did, I'd be a genius by now). So just spare a couple of weeks, have no life for a bit and then you can live it back up after you're done and when you have all the time you have in the world. Would you rather spend 3 months of not doing the things that you want to, or would you rather spend the rest of your life not doing the same things because you can't even afford it anymore because you've wasted your chance? 3 months. Rest of your life. Really.
- Do it for your parents.
Of course to me, number one reason why you cannot ever give up is because of the lovely people who have brought you into this world. I know that people might kill me for saying that we should study for our parents because we should be studying for ourselves but hear me out okay!
Think of it as a present in return for all the money, time, effort, blood, sweat and tears (wah drama a bit) they have spent on you for the past few years of having to send you to school, tuition, extra curricular activities, music classes, whatever yknow. They have spent so much of their time to make sure you get the best of what's out there and it's sad to say that a lot of us today, we don't appreciate our parents enough. Most of us don't even take the time to say "thank you" to mama or papa for dropping us at tuition but complain all the time about how tired we are. Have you ever thought about how much they've sacrificed for you? How they make sure you get sent to the best school, the best tuition centers, giving you a bed to sleep in, buying you the things that they think should be given to you when you ask?
So, work your butt off for the days to come, get the best results that you can ever get to say a "thank you", to show them that their sacrifice and all that they've given to us was worth it. All the drives to tuitions, schools, money spent on exercise books, revision books, the time spent sending you to places where you need to be when they could be doing important work things and so so so so much more. Show them that it all didn't go to waste.
Imagine how proud they would be. Just imagine. I know for a fact that no matter what your results turn out to be, your parents would be over-the-moon proud of you. That is a fact that I can state because of my own parents. All these years, knowing that my studies have never been my forte, they still stand by me and support me, giving me the encouragement that I need no matter how many C's and D's and failures I get. They are proud of me no matter what and I am truly blessed to be able to say this.
Yes, Asian parents' standards, "my parents are different than yours" and all that but think about it, won't you be proud of your kid too, knowing how hard they've worked and how hard they've pushed themselves to produce whatever results they get? Think about how proud you would make them if you do your best and achieve something far better than anything you can imagine, far better than even what they can imagine. And you know how they like to talk about us kids when they have their gatherings and all that? They get the bragging rights as much as you do, so hey, Uncles and Aunties would be proud of you, too. Plus points if they have daughters/sons your age, you get a chance hehe.
- Do it for you.
Last but definitely not the least, this is an extremely important thing I think we all have to constantly remind ourselves about. Like I've said before, 3 months left to one of the key things that have a great chance of determining where you go from here, what your future will be like, what kind of life you are going to live. Do not feed yourself negative thoughts about how this is so hard. Do not tell yourself that you cannot do it because hello, you have gone through 5 years of high school. I am about 99.9% sure that you are a tough cookie and that nothing is going to break you down. You have survived grueling exams, endless piles of homework (that most of the time I'm too lazy to do anyway so I didn't really survive this hehe oops), unnecessary drama, n number of breakdowns and meltdowns, sleepless nights of studying, almost 5 years of all that and so much more, don't tell me you are going to give up at the last moment of your high school life, ending it in the worst way possible, knowing that you could have done so much better?
I know what it's like to feel completely useless. Trust me, I do. Most of you have never seen me at my worst and I'd like to keep it that way. But let's just say that I have once hit rock bottom, my lowest of lows. So many nights of the constant wars made up in my own head for no particular reason at all, random breakdowns in the middle of the day, letting the littlest of things ruin my entire day, week, sometimes month even. I know what it's like. I have failed. I have fallen. But here I am, standing on my own two feet by the amazing grace of God and all the love that the people around have for me.
So if you ever feel like you can't do it and you're at the verge of completely giving up because you don't think you want to do it anymore, because you think going through all this pain and stress is not worth it, because all this is too hard for you, you are definitely not alone. I can say that there are so many people out there who are feeling the same way and sadly, you don't even have to go far for that - just go on twitter. You don't even have to scroll 5 hours back to see at least one person groaning about having to deal with SPM.
We are all scared to the core. Well, some of us don't care. And I think that's the problem with a lot of us is that either we care too much, or we don't care at all. Imba la haha aih. But I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're not alone in this and that we are all going to get through it together. All of us have the same number of days and all of us have 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, now why do some people study so well and some people not so much? For me, it's time management and priorities. I used to really not care about my studies at all and that ended up with pretty bad grades, but once I started to put effort into and actually make time to study and do my homework in between the crazy schedule that I have, good results started to show!
It's where your heart is. Tell yourself that you are going to do this no matter what. You only have so much time left, don't let any of it go to waste. Sit down and properly study, highlight stuff, draw mind maps, do lots of exercises, whichever way you study best, whatever it takes. Put your heart and mind to it and I can assure you that you are going to be able to achieve things you have never imagined. And let's just say I think you would be pretty amazed at the results that you are going to see and you will be proud of yourself. You are going to be so glad that you have survived high school. You will be so glad you managed to pull through the insane days and nights of preparation. You are going to be so proud that you have put your best foot forward and that whatever results you may get, you know that you have done your best and there's nothing more anyone can ask from you. Your absolute best. Even if you don't think you'll be proud of yourself, I will be. And I'm pretty sure your parents, your family, your friends will no doubt be proud of you, too.
And as I've mentioned before, you are definitely not alone in this. There will always be help around. If not, you can always come look for me! And I genuinely, 100% mean it when I say I'll be there because I know what it's like to feel extra demotivated and when you just need someone to bring you back up. As always, I'm just a phone call/text/whatsapp/tweet/facebook message away.
**Remember: you are good, you are smart enough, you are going to get through this, one way or another, you can and you are going to do great things.
Make your parents proud. Make yourself proud.
Do it for you.
