Everyone, meet Marcus.
Marcus is my best friend or better known as boyfriend.
People know him as the shy, super good looking, super talented yet down-to-earth guitarist who has a heart for God, his family, his friends and the people around him.
Me?
I see all of that and so much more.
There have been too many times, countless times when people have asked me what I like most about him. My answers almost always starts with "I don't know," because this gives me a bit of time to mentally list down the things that I would want to say. Give me a few more seconds after that and I'll say, "I really don't know," because by then I normally end up with too many things to say.
That's basically how it is when it comes to him.
I have no words but at the same time I have too many to say about this boy. If you know me well enough, you will know that I always end up having too hard a time to phrase my thoughts properly but I promise I'll try my best. So, let's start with the basics.
What I love about him is his love for God and for people.
Week after week, you see him serving on stage with the gifts that God has given him. I always hear stories about how teachable and how humble he is. And I experience it firsthand whenever he tells me about the advice he gets from his sifus and people of influence over his life. I can see him thoughtfully absorbing everything they have to say and how he's always so eager to learn more and more from them.
I also get to see how his father's way of teaching others has rubbed off on him as well. One time for CRAVE, the worship team that we were both in consisted of a few newer members with not as much experience. So, we had a bit of difficulty going through the whole set smoothly because it was hard to play together as a team. That night, he was running from this end of the stage to the other end through out the 2 hour practice, patiently telling the other musicians how to play their notes and their chords at different parts of the songs. Talk about multi-talented. They came back the next day sounding a lot better after listening to the songs again and practising at home themselves after being encouraged by the rest of us. After CRAVE when we had our debriefing, everyone commended his patience and the way he handled the team. He looked down and shyly smiled the way he always does.
What I love about him is his character.
He comes off shy at first but once you get to know him better, he's actually a really fun guy and the cool guy image he portrays slowly fades away. He doesn't change much when he's with his family, his friends or when he's alone with me. He's always the smart, easy-going, light-hearted, funny little boy whom we all know and love.
But one thing I get to see that other people most probably won't see as much is his honesty with himself and with me. I have seen and experienced every side of him -- his strengths, his flaws; the good, the bad; everything. He doesn't hide it. We talk about anything and everything; from the depths to the skies, from things that seem super pointless to talk about to the things that seem too deep and emotionally hit us the most. I know honest thoughts and conversations make people feel vulnerable at times but we trust each other. I cannot ask for more than that.
Ever since day one, he's always been there for me and he lets me be there for him as well. This I feel is important because he allows me to be involved in his life as much as he is in mine. This year has been especially challenging for the both of us with starting college, taking up leadership in different ministries, with him expanding his music career amidst other things. We're the first people to share with each other about the things that are happening in our lives and we promise that we will always have each other no matter what. This brings me to my next point.
What I love about us is the space we have for ourselves.
Despite the fact that we're always there for each other, we don't solely depend on and revolve our lives around one another but instead have God as our primary source of love, grace and strength. Not forgetting the community of the best people to surround ourselves with to help us grow individually and together, too.
I remember once in Psychology, we were discussing about whether or not couples should have their own space in a relationship. Almost all of us (practically the whole class minus two guys) said yes. Ms Annette, my lecturer, who was overwhelmed with the response then asked those of us who actually are in relationships to further explain why we said so. I talked about how as much as two people are in a relationship, they are their own independent persons as well so space definitely has to be present. I said a whole bunch of other things, too. But the point is, as I was explaining my opinion out loud to the whole class, internally I told myself how he and I are so blessed to be able to handle the "space" aspect of our relationship pretty well; balancing our time between college, work, family, friends and time for each other.
"Your relationship should complement your lives, not supersede it."
What I love about him is the way he loves me.
I thank his parents (hi Uncle Steve and Aunty Jamie!) for bringing up their sons the way that they do because it really shows in the way that they treat the people around them. Now, I have one too many stories to share about how he's taken care of me, how he's surprised me and how he's done so much for me. And despite the endless tweets and posts of hashtag "relationship goals" that flood my feed with pictures of a room full of balloons, expensive things on a bed and all that jazz, I'm glad I can say that I don't need to hashtag "relationship goals" anything because I already have so much more than that.
To me, it's the little things that mean more than a big, fancy, Instagram-mable moment or a tweet that gets thousands of retweets and favorites, yet people still take the little moments for granted. So I want to tell you about the little things he does that other people don't see, or maybe even he himself doesn't take notice of.
He sends heart-shape-eyed emojis when he sees pictures of me.
He drops off handwritten love letters to my door step.
He writes letters, man.
He sends me home.
He picks me up from my house.
He opens the door for me when I get into a car.
He stretches across the passenger seat to open the door for me when he's already in his car.
He brings me out for food.
He takes photos of me.
He plays PS2 with me.
He loses to me in PS2 (not on purpose).
He compliments my parking...and insults the parking of my car when I didn't park it that way.
He walks slower after I tell him that he's walking too fast (I have shorter legs, I'm sorry).
He holds my hand.
He tries to hold my hand when he drives even though he drives a manual.
He texts me when he gets home after driving.
He tells me his whereabouts.
He calls me beautiful.
He makes me feel beautiful, too.
He gives me side hugs when we say goodbye in public.
He tells me I look nice even when I didn't put much effort into looking good.
He tells me I look especially nice when he knows I put effort into looking good.
He tells me I look nice and then have Terry stealing the compliment by saying, "thanks".
He makes silly faces when we make eye contact from a distance.
He smiles the kind of smile where his eyes form two lines when he sees me walking over to him.
He calls me when he feels like something's up.
He knows when something's up.
He tells me off when I'm not taking care of myself.
He lectures like a dad when I eat fried chicken """"again"""" while my actual Papa brings me to eat it.
He makes conversation with my parents.
He thanks Pauline for preparing dinner.
He sends pictures to show me his finished assignments.
He lets me check his grammar for his speech for a class.
He asks me to listen to new songs because the guitar line sounds cool.
He collages pictures of me and puts it as his desktop wallpaper.
He projected his wallpaper on the screen to his whole class by accident.
He wasn't shy about it, though.
He tells me he loves me every night before we go to sleep.
He introduces me to his friends.
He performs with me when we can.
He likes the smell of my perfume.
He calls me again 2 minutes after we end the call asking, "Can I pray for you?"
He talks about me.
He laughs with and at me.
He comforts me when I need someone.
He believes in me so much more than I believe in myself.
He reassures me when I feel like the whole world is against me.
He lets me sob into the phone when no words can come out.
He asks me to stay safe wherever I am.
He listens to me.
He plays all my voice notes.
He sends me voice notes, too.
He remembers the little details.
He admits when he remembers the details wrongly.
He knows when he's wrong.
He apologises when he needs to.
He tells me when I'm wrong.
He sees every side of me, yet
He loves me.
And I love him.
Right now you might be thinking that we have a perfect relationship and it's funny how people have actually come up to me to tell me that, too. Well, unfortunately, as much as it seems to be, no human relationship can ever be perfect. We do have our fallouts and not so great moments in our time of being together, but thankfully, we've made it through.
The reason we've made it this far I believe is because our foundation is set on the constant One in our lives and because we have other people helping us along the way as well. So here's to not only us, but also to the many other people who have played a part in helping Qingcus turn 2 years old today.
Thank you for an amazing 2 years. Here's to a thousand more.
